Tuesday, January 15, 2013
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine!
So I dedicate this post to the disappointment I felt when the world didn't end last year.
21st December 2012.
The Mayans predicted that would be the end of the world.
Or did they?
It was certainly an end to an era. We are now in the Age of Aquarius (Come on now, we're all singing the song in our end aren't we, when we read that!).
This would certainly signify a change to the World as we know it.
Does anybody feel different? I know that mentalities are shifting. People are starting to question more, people around me are re-evaluating their lives and choices and the decisions they make. These are all good things.
I still hoped for the World to actually end though.
If we all went out together, it wouldn't be such a bad thing!
Maybe it did and this is Hell.
It sometimes certainly feels that way but if that's the case, I guess I wasn't as bad as I thought I was.
Cheers to that!
Friday, January 11, 2013
Make a list and check it twice!
This has appealed to my OCD in a big way so I jumped on the bandwagon and made my own!
Check it out, it's fun in a lame kind of way and I can't wait to start playing. It's nice to have things to aim towards!
101 Things in 1001 Days
Jan 06, 2013 - Oct 04, 2015
- participate in a 'photo a day' challenge
- Dye my hair
- spend one day technology-free
- go on a girls' trip
- have a 'day spa' day
- eat at 5 new restaurants
- cook 1 new recipe from scratch
- Watch the sunrise on the beach
- Have a movie/tv show marathon, non-stop
- Write a list of '101 things I've done this lifetime'
- Go whale watching
- Go to the zoo
- write a list of '101 things that make me happy'
- try at least 5 DIY ideas from Pinterest
- Make a list of 101 quotes that inspire me
- Learn how to use a sewing machine
- Start exercising regularly
- Start doing yoga
- Stop comparing myself to other people
- Take a vacation to anywhere on a cruise ship
- Find myself
- Find a new hobby
- Try making pasta from scratch
- Try a new recipe every week
- Get a tattoo
- Answer the "50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind"
- Watch the sunrise and sunset in the same day
- Go to a concert
- Go on a road trip
- Complete a 365 day photo challenge
- Make a birthday cake for someone
- Find a personally inspirational quote and work it into a piece of art or home decor
- Get a passport
- Attend the midnight premiere of a movie
- Send a message in a bottle
- Host a dinner party
- Make a custom recipe book
- Watch a meteor shower
- Go fishing
- Attend a film festival
- Ride a horse
- Attend a live taping of a TV show
- Spend a night stargazing
- Get a New Year's kiss at midnight
- Make a playlist of 26 songs (each starting with a different letter of the alphabet) and listen to them in alphabetical order on a road trip
- Listen to "I'm On A Boat" while on a boat.
- Write a message in a public bathroom
- Read 10 classics I should have read but have never got around to
- Create a budget and stick to it for 4 weeks
- Sleep in an overnight train
- Grow something from a seed
- Take an archery class
- Build a gingerbread house
- Build a snowman
- Build a piece of furniture
- Visit a Buddhist monastery
- Take a picture for each letter of the alphabet
- Catch a snowflake on my tongue
- Ride in a limousine
- Send flowers anonymously to a friend in need
- Watch a Cirque du Soleil show
- Watch a movie at a drive-in
- Watch a roller derby match
- Watch two movies at a cinema in the same day
- Ask 20 friends to suggest one book, and read them all
- learn a new language
- paint a picture
- Attend a wine tasting
- Try 5 new restaurants
- Update my blog at least once a week
- Fall in love
- Spend a rainy day watching films in my PJ's
- Take a Yoga class
- Fly a kite
- Design a t-shirt
- Take pictures in a photo booth
- Have dessert for dinner
- Go camping
- See a musical
- Build a sandcastle
- Build a bonfire and toast marshmellows
- Watch all the Star Wars movies
- Go to the movies once a month
- Grow my hair long
- Send a handwritten letter
- Volunteer at an animal shelter
- Make a list of 50 places I would like to visit in my lifetime
- Complete the 100 snapshots challenge
- Say "yes" to something I would not normally do
- Create an inspiration board
- Go swimming with dolphins
- Spend one weekend with only my music, art and books. "Unplug"
- See one of my favourite bands in concert
- Go to a movie by myself
- See a film at IMAX
- Go a month without buying anything that isn't a necessity
- Put away $10 for every goal completed
- Pay off my credit cards
- Have at least $1,000 in savings
- Sell something on eBay
- Buy new makeup and use it from start to finish
As I mark things off I'll talk about it, that'll help with 70. Update my blog at least once a week :}
Thursday, January 10, 2013
A Light Lost.
Here it goes...
On the 4th December 2012, a very dear friend of mine took his life.
That alone was devastating enough but probably the worst part, was that none of us knew.
None of us knew he was hurting, struggling, felt so alone and lost and that the only way out was to end it.
This has destroyed me.
This is the first time I've been able to write about it and even now, it hurts, so much.
I had spoken to him the day before, but because I was so wrapped up in my crap, with petty things, I didn't pick up on anything.
I should have. That might seem like unfair pressure on me, and I don't blame myself that he did it, but I, with the talents and skills I have, should have picked up that something wasn't right.
It's changed me. I'm just not as keen to pretend I am happier then what I am anymore. I do not have the energy or care factor to cater to people's bullshit when there are bigger things in life.
Someone who was so fucking amazing, caring, a total global warrior, cared SO much for other people and society and where our world was going, couldn't do it anymore.
My world is a darker place because of the light we've lost and the hurt is a physical ache in my heart.
It's broken.
He was the kind of man that made me feel like I was perfect just the way I am. He made me feel wonderful, there was a lot of love there for each other.
And now he's gone.
This loss put a lot of things in perspective for me.
The bullshit with the guys in my life, some of the scares I've had, the issues I'm feeling towards some of my friends, I just don't care anymore.
Life is so short and it has to be lived.
It has to be lived for those souls who couldn't go on anymore and it has to be lived for us.
I guess another factor that I should admit to myself and stop brushing it off as not important, is the fact that I've been at that point.
Of wanting to die.
Of wanting to just stop and not do this anymore because it was just so fucking hard.
It's been more than once, it's been hard every single time, but I've been lucky to have people get me through it, even when they don't know it.
It's not something I ever made open to people, only a couple now know the details of it all, and it's not necessary to broadcast it, don't need to bring up the details.
It's just knowing what that point feels like, the release it gives you, and man, I get it.
I do.
I just wish he didn't leave, that he would have let someone in, to show him what I was shown.
That he was so loved, so cared for, so needed.
I know that he would have learnt that, when he moved on, and onto the next life he will live.
He will learn those lessons and start again on a path of happiness and enlightenment that he was already on, when he lost his way.
RIP Connor Walsh. I will always hold you dear to my heart.
Annnnd she's back..!
It also applies to me because I haven't been on here lately... So much has happened and it's been a struggle to find the words, to even think about it. But think I must because this is life, it's important and it needs to be put somewhere, so I can set myself free.
I'm going to do that in a seperate entry though because I want this one to reflect how HAPPY I am that my darling soul sister is back to play with on here, and that she's letting herself do something that makes her so happy in return.
<3
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
45 LIFE LESSONS, WRITTEN BY A 90 YEAR OLD
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for things that matter.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose Life.
28. Forgive but don’t forget.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.
42. The best is yet to come…
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
Monday, December 10, 2012
What it takes to exist inside my bubble...
I live in a bubble of happiness and love and acceptance with my soul sisters. I can be who I am and know that it will accepted with total love, honesty and respect. Those things should flow through to every aspect of my life and from anyone who wants to live in my bubble.
The last few weeks have been a reflective time for me when it comes to my own happiness and whether I'm ready for a relationship or not.
Last night, I had to have the "talk" with a good friend of mine who has admitted he has feelings for me. Thankfully he is someone who holds those values towards me as my sisters do, of love, honesty and respect, so it wasn't as awkward as it could have been.
From all this though, I've still been thinking. I wrote about the top 5 traits I need from a partner from a level of characteristics they need to have.
I look though at how my brothers treat their girlfriends, wives, partners etc, and I look at the relationships my soul sisters have with the gorgeous men that have been blessed to exist in their bubbles, and I want that. When I'm ready, I want that.
I want someone who will make me laugh so much I cry.
I want someone who will listen to my crap and actually listen and not judge.
I want someone who will remember the things I tell them.
I want someone who will be able to read me when I don't tell them.
I want someone who will want to drive me around but be happy to let me when I have the whim to.
I want someone who will treat me like I am the most important person in their life.
I want someone who will put me first.
I want someone who will give me the freedom I need and trust me to make my own decisions.
I want someone who will want to make decisions with me.
I want someone who will stand up for me, protect me, be on my side.
I want someone who will give me a massage when my back aches and I just want to cry.
I want someone who will play with my hair and tickle me even when I wack them for doing it.
I want someone who will know when no means no and when no means maybe.
I want someone who will be content to sit in silence with me or talk shit with me for hours.
I want someone that will fit into my life like my soul sisters have.
I want someone that when I look at them, they give me the good kind of shivers.
I want someone that looks at me like I give them the good kind of shivers.
I want someone who will like similiar sorts of things I do but also have their own interests and be able to accept that we are different, and be happy with that.
I want someone who will accept me, all of me, and love me because of those things.
I want Jesse, from Pitch Perfect. That to me, is my perfect man. Gorgeous, ridiculously funny, wants to look after and be there, actually cares and most importantly, is happy to be himself and content in who he is. Having their favourite movie as The Breakfast Club as well just seals the deal for me. Wow, just wow. If that character existed in real life, exactly like that, and was actually into me, I'd marry them in a heart beat.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Top 5 Songs
Music is what feelings sound like.
Music sooths my soul.
Music makes me so very happy.
It's hard to narrow down just a Top 5 when it comes to music (with a lot of things really), even now I find songs that I would throw on the list instead, but sometimes you just need to pick something and stick with it!
These songs below, they all have a deeper meaning for me. All of them - from the lyrics, the beat, the vibe and feeling they give me - this is what makes these songs so important to me.
Top 5 Songs
- 'Heaven Coming Down' by The Tea Party
- 'Don't You Forget About Me' by Simple Minds
- 'I've Got to Break Free' by Queen
I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies
You're so self-satisfied I don't need you
I got to break free
God knows, God knows I want to break free
I've fallen in love
I've fallen in love for the first time
And this time I know it's for real
I've fallen in love, yeah
God knows, God knows I've fallen in love
It's strange but it's true (hey yea)
I can't get over the way you love me like you do
But I have to be sure
When I walk out that door
Oh how I want to be free baby
Oh how I want to be free
Oh how I want to break free
But life still goes on
I can't get used to living without, living without, living without you
by my side
I don't want to live alone, hey
God knows got to make it on my own
So baby can't you see
I've got to break free
I've got to break free
I want to break free, yeah
I want, I want, I want, I want to break free …
- 'Learning to Fly' by Pink Floyd
Stretched to the point of no turning back
A flight of fancy on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled
A fatal attraction is holding me fast,
How can I escape this irresistible grasp?
Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earth-bound misfit, I
Ice is forming on the tips of my wings
Unheeded warnings, I thought, I thought of everything
No navigator to find my way home
Unladened, empty and turned to stone
A soul in tension -- that's learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try
Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I
Above the planet on a wing and a prayer,
My grubby halo, a vapour trail in the empty air,
Across the clouds I see my shadow fly
Out of the corner of my watering eye
A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night
There's no sensation to compare with this
Suspended animation, a state of bliss
Can't keep my mind from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I
- 'Purple Rain' by Prince/'Kiss From a Rose' by Seal
I never meant to cause you any pain.
I only wanted to one time see you laughing.
I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain.
Purple rain, purple rain.
Purple rain, purple rain.
Purple rain, purple rain.
I only wanted to see you bathing in the purple rain.
I never wanted to be your weekend lover.
I only wanted to be some kind of friend.
Baby I could never steal you from another.
It's such a shame our friendship had to end.
Purple rain, purple rain.
Purple rain, purple rain.
I only wanted to see you underneath the purple rain.
Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing.
It's time we all reach out for something new,
That means you too.
You say you want a leader,
But you can't seem to make up your mind.
I think you better close it,
And let me guide you to the purple rain.
Purple rain, purple rain.
Purple rain, purple rain.
If you know what I'm singing about up here.
C'mon raise your hand.
Purple rain, purple rain.
I only want to see you, only want to see you.
You became the light on the dark side of me.
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and
The light that you shine can be seen.
Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray.
Ooh,
The more I get of you,
The stranger it feels, yeah.
And now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the gray.
There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain,
My power, my pleasure, my pain, baby
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny.
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby?
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray.
Ooh, the more I get of you
The stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the gray,
I've been kissed by a rose on the gray,
I've been kissed by a rose
I've been kissed by a rose on the gray,
...And if I should fall along the way
I've been kissed by a rose
...been kissed by a rose on the gray.
There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain
My power, my pleasure, my pain.
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny, yeah
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby.
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray.
Ooh, the more I get of you
The stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the gray.
Yes I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray
Ooh, the more I get of you
The stranger it feels, yeah
And now that your rose is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the gray
Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the gray.