em·pa·thy
[em-puh-thee] Show IPA
pə
noun
1.
the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
(In simple terms, the ability to identify, understand and share the feelings of others.)
I was told once, a long time ago, that I have a gift, a power, an ability, a skill.
Omniscient Empathy.
The ability to have complete understanding and a flawless emotional connection with every person I meet in a matter of seconds due to my skills and experience.
I'm otherwise known as an Empath.
Now, whether you believe this stuff or not is really beside the point. Some people believe, some people don't.
Empathy is real. People being more in tune with Empathy is also real. Whether you believe that can then extend further into people being able to feel other's emotions, control them, heal them, well, that's your lesson to learn.
There are many websites out there that have different lists of what it means, how people are affected, etc etc. I've found this particular list quite interesting and pretty accurate for me - there are some on here that aren't but everybody is different and no one will follow lists completely.
This is one such list:
At A Glance: 30 Traits of an Empath
1. Knowing: Empaths just know stuff, without being told. It’s a knowing that goes way beyond intuition or gut feelings, even though that is how many would describe the knowing. The more attuned they are the stronger this gift becomes.
(People always ask me how did I know something, my standard response is that "I just do".)
2. Being in public places can be overwhelming: Places like shopping malls, supermarkets or stadiums, where there are lots of people around, can fill the Empath with turbulently vexed emotions that are coming from others.
(I will be okay to a point, and then it'll be this overwhelming need to just get out. I get better as I get older but I used to struggle so much as a child, I hated going into shops, I'd tell my parents and sister I was allergic to clothes and people and wouldn't go in.)
3. Feeling others emotions and taking them on as your own: This is a huge one for Empaths. To some, they will feel emotions off those near by and with others they will feel emotions from those a vast distance away, or both. The more adept Empath will know if someone is having bad thoughts about them, even from a great distance.
(Even now, after years, I still find myself on occassion trying to seperate my feelings from someone else. I do really well when I'm not exhausted, but the more I am, the harder it is to do.)
4. Watching violence, cruelty or tragedy on the TV is unbearable: The more attuned an Empath becomes the worse it is and may make it so they eventually have to stop watching TV and reading newspapers altogether.
(This doesn't bother me as much as it used to, but some things really hit hard.)
5. You know when someone is not being honest: If a friend or a loved one is telling you lies you know it (although many Empaths try not to focus on this because knowing a loved one is lying can be painful). Or if someone is saying one thing but feeling/thinking another, you know.
(I always know if someone is bullshitting me, as my brother always said "You can't bullshit a bullshit artist", I try to avoid lying as much as possible and I can be quite gullible at times, I always want to believe people are telling me the truth, but it eventually comes out if they're not.)
6. Picking up physical symptoms off another: An Empath will almost always develop the ailments off another (colds, eye infections, body aches and pains), especially those who they’re closest to, somewhat like sympathy pains.
(I will always, without fail, pick up on my sisters headaches and migraines. It's a long-running "joke" in my family, I get a headache that isn't quite "right", like I'm having one but not, and it'll be my sister with it.)
7. Digestive disorders and lower back problems: The solar plexus chakra is based in the centre of the abdomen and it’s known as the seat of emotions. This is where Empaths feel the incoming emotion of another, which can weaken the area and eventually lead to anything from stomach ulcers to IBS (too many other conditions to list here). Lower back problems can develop from being ungrounded (amongst other things) and one, who has no knowledge of them being an Empath, will almost always be ungrounded.
(hahahahahaha story of my fucking life!)
8. Always looking out for the underdog: Anyone whose suffering, in emotional pain or being bullied draws an Empath’s attention and compassion.
(Always.)
9. Others will want to offload their problems on you, even strangers: An Empath can become a dumping ground for everyone else’s issues and problems, which, if they’re not careful can end up as their own.
(I've lost count the number of times random strangers have told me their whole life story, and I always have to fight that balance of taking problems on for my loved ones.)
10. Constant fatigue: Empaths often get drained of energy, either from energy vampires or just taking on too much from others, which even sleep will not cure. Many get diagnosed with ME.
(Always.)
11. Addictive personality: Alcohol, drugs, sex, are to name but a few addictions Empaths turn to, to block out the emotions of others. It can be a form of self protection in order to hide from someone or something (external emotions).
(Yep. I get hooked on most things.)
12. Drawn to healing, holistic therapies and all things metaphysical: Although many Empaths would love to heal others, they can end up turning away from healing (even though they have a natural ability for it), after they’ve studied and qualified, because they take on too much from the one they are trying to heal. Especially if they are unaware of their empathy. Anything of a supernatural nature is of interest to Empaths and they don’t surprise or get shocked easily. Even at the revelation of what many others would consider unthinkable, for example, Empaths would have known the world was round when others believed it was flat.
(Spot on.)
13. Creative: From singing, dancing, acting, drawing or writing an Empath will have a strong creative streak and a vivid imagination.
(Yes, although I wish I could draw.)
14. Love of nature and animals: Being outdoors in nature is a must for Empaths and pets are an essential part of their life.
(3 dogs, a cat and a bird later, I still want more.)
15. Need for solitude: An Empath will go stir-crazy if they don’t get quiet time. This is even obvious in empathic children.
(It's not a want, it's a need.)
16. Gets bored or distracted easily if not stimulated: Work, school and home life has to be kept interesting for an Empath or they switch off from it and end up daydreaming or doodling.
(You'll often hear me say I'm bored, even when life is not boring!)
17. Finds it impossible to do things they don’t enjoy: As above. Feels like they are living a lie by doing so. To force an Empath to do something they dislike through guilt or labelling them as idle will only serve in making them unhappy. It’s for this reason many Empaths get labelled as being lazy.
(Spot on. I'm really not that lazy, but my mother certainly thinks so.)
18. Strives for the truth: This becomes more prevalent when an Empath discovers his/her gifts and birthright. Anything untruthful feels plain wrong.
(Amen.)
19. Always looking for the answers and knowledge: To have unanswered questions can be frustrating for an Empath and they will endeavour to find an explanation. If they have a knowing about something they will look for confirmation. The downside to this is an information overload.
(It can be an overload but I LOVE it.)
20. Likes adventure, freedom and travel: Empaths are free spirits.
(I'm a true hippy at heart.)
21. Abhors clutter: It makes an Empath feel weighed down and blocks the flow of energy.
(It's true, but at the same time I'm a pack rat. I get to breaking point and de-clutter but it always builds back up.)
22. Loves to daydream: An Empath can stare into space for hours, in a world of their own and blissfully happy.
(Favourite past-time.)
23. Finds routine, rules or control, imprisoning: Anything that takes away their freedom is debilitating to an Empath even poisoning.
(Sometimes, but as I get older I make myself deal with it, structure and order is good when you're taking control.)
24. Prone to carry weight without necessarily overeating: The excess weight is a form of protection to stop the negative incoming energies having as much impact.
(Yep...)
25. Excellent listener: An Empath won’t talk about themselves much unless it’s to someone they really trust. They love to learn and know about others and genuinely care.
(That's why I always deflect questions off of me and get people to talk about themselves. With the people in my heart though, I tell them whatever they want to know.)
26. Intolerance to narcissism: Although kind and often very tolerant of others, Empaths do not like to be around overly egotistical people, who put themselves first and refuse to consider another’s feelings or points of view other than their own.
(Ooooh they shit me!)
27. The ability to feel the days of the week: An Empath will get the ‘Friday Feeling’ if they work Fridays or not. They pick up on how the collective are feeling. The first couple of days of a long, bank holiday weekend (Easter for example) can feel, to them, like the world is smiling, calm and relaxed. Sunday evenings, Mondays and Tuesdays, of a working week, have a very heavy feeling.
(I thought everyone had this?)
28. Will not choose to buy antiques, vintage or second-hand: Anything that’s been pre-owned carries the energy of the previous owner. An Empath will even prefer to have a brand new car or house (if they are in the financial situation to do so) with no residual energy.
(This isn't a problem for me for the most part, if someone has bad jo-jo on it I avoid it but otherwise it's fine.)
29. Sense the energy of food: Many Empaths don’t like to eat meat or poultry because they can feel the vibrations of the animal (especially if the animal suffered), even if they like the taste.
(It doesn't stop me, I LOVE meat.)
30. Can appear moody, shy, aloof, disconnected: Depending on how an Empath is feeling will depend on what face they show to the world. They can be prone to mood swings and if they’ve taken on too much negative will appear quiet and unsociable, even miserable. An empath detests having to pretend to be happy when they’re sad, this only adds to their load (makes working in the service industry, when it’s service with a smile, very challenging) and can make them feel like scuttling under a stone.
(Very much so but again, after years of practice, it's second nature now. It's a big problem sometimes, I am an extremely moody person on occassion, but it's all about the practice.)
If you can say yes to at least 10 of these traits (especially 1 to 10), you could very well be an Empath.
Empaths may carry many of the same traits but they/we are still individuals. We can override or block certain traits and some traits will come and go over the years (strengthen or weaken) as life circumstances change. Once one has become aware of one’s birthright of being an Empath (this will normally happen when any, or all, of the above traits start screaming at you for attention), it is then we can find remedies to ease symptoms and perhaps discover what our true role in life is.
So the reason why I'm discussing this today is because, lately, it's been hard.
I'm so very tired, I'm on a new medication that's fucking with my hormones - which then fucks with your emotions, and my logical side is being worked overtime to try and control the emotions, that aren't my own.
I just want to be left alone, but at the same time I don't want to be. I want to keep the people in my life that give me relief and sactuary from the shit but I get moody and emotional with them and they don't deserve that.
It's all over the place.
It'll re-balance out, I'm very good at controlling this for the most part, but at times, when I struggle, I wish I could explain why. Until *I* can figure it out though, I don't know where to start.
So until then, I keep embracing the logic to control the emotional and keep striving for my balance.
(People always ask me how did I know something, my standard response is that "I just do".)
2. Being in public places can be overwhelming: Places like shopping malls, supermarkets or stadiums, where there are lots of people around, can fill the Empath with turbulently vexed emotions that are coming from others.
(I will be okay to a point, and then it'll be this overwhelming need to just get out. I get better as I get older but I used to struggle so much as a child, I hated going into shops, I'd tell my parents and sister I was allergic to clothes and people and wouldn't go in.)
3. Feeling others emotions and taking them on as your own: This is a huge one for Empaths. To some, they will feel emotions off those near by and with others they will feel emotions from those a vast distance away, or both. The more adept Empath will know if someone is having bad thoughts about them, even from a great distance.
(Even now, after years, I still find myself on occassion trying to seperate my feelings from someone else. I do really well when I'm not exhausted, but the more I am, the harder it is to do.)
4. Watching violence, cruelty or tragedy on the TV is unbearable: The more attuned an Empath becomes the worse it is and may make it so they eventually have to stop watching TV and reading newspapers altogether.
(This doesn't bother me as much as it used to, but some things really hit hard.)
5. You know when someone is not being honest: If a friend or a loved one is telling you lies you know it (although many Empaths try not to focus on this because knowing a loved one is lying can be painful). Or if someone is saying one thing but feeling/thinking another, you know.
(I always know if someone is bullshitting me, as my brother always said "You can't bullshit a bullshit artist", I try to avoid lying as much as possible and I can be quite gullible at times, I always want to believe people are telling me the truth, but it eventually comes out if they're not.)
6. Picking up physical symptoms off another: An Empath will almost always develop the ailments off another (colds, eye infections, body aches and pains), especially those who they’re closest to, somewhat like sympathy pains.
(I will always, without fail, pick up on my sisters headaches and migraines. It's a long-running "joke" in my family, I get a headache that isn't quite "right", like I'm having one but not, and it'll be my sister with it.)
7. Digestive disorders and lower back problems: The solar plexus chakra is based in the centre of the abdomen and it’s known as the seat of emotions. This is where Empaths feel the incoming emotion of another, which can weaken the area and eventually lead to anything from stomach ulcers to IBS (too many other conditions to list here). Lower back problems can develop from being ungrounded (amongst other things) and one, who has no knowledge of them being an Empath, will almost always be ungrounded.
(hahahahahaha story of my fucking life!)
8. Always looking out for the underdog: Anyone whose suffering, in emotional pain or being bullied draws an Empath’s attention and compassion.
(Always.)
9. Others will want to offload their problems on you, even strangers: An Empath can become a dumping ground for everyone else’s issues and problems, which, if they’re not careful can end up as their own.
(I've lost count the number of times random strangers have told me their whole life story, and I always have to fight that balance of taking problems on for my loved ones.)
10. Constant fatigue: Empaths often get drained of energy, either from energy vampires or just taking on too much from others, which even sleep will not cure. Many get diagnosed with ME.
(Always.)
11. Addictive personality: Alcohol, drugs, sex, are to name but a few addictions Empaths turn to, to block out the emotions of others. It can be a form of self protection in order to hide from someone or something (external emotions).
(Yep. I get hooked on most things.)
12. Drawn to healing, holistic therapies and all things metaphysical: Although many Empaths would love to heal others, they can end up turning away from healing (even though they have a natural ability for it), after they’ve studied and qualified, because they take on too much from the one they are trying to heal. Especially if they are unaware of their empathy. Anything of a supernatural nature is of interest to Empaths and they don’t surprise or get shocked easily. Even at the revelation of what many others would consider unthinkable, for example, Empaths would have known the world was round when others believed it was flat.
(Spot on.)
13. Creative: From singing, dancing, acting, drawing or writing an Empath will have a strong creative streak and a vivid imagination.
(Yes, although I wish I could draw.)
14. Love of nature and animals: Being outdoors in nature is a must for Empaths and pets are an essential part of their life.
(3 dogs, a cat and a bird later, I still want more.)
15. Need for solitude: An Empath will go stir-crazy if they don’t get quiet time. This is even obvious in empathic children.
(It's not a want, it's a need.)
16. Gets bored or distracted easily if not stimulated: Work, school and home life has to be kept interesting for an Empath or they switch off from it and end up daydreaming or doodling.
(You'll often hear me say I'm bored, even when life is not boring!)
17. Finds it impossible to do things they don’t enjoy: As above. Feels like they are living a lie by doing so. To force an Empath to do something they dislike through guilt or labelling them as idle will only serve in making them unhappy. It’s for this reason many Empaths get labelled as being lazy.
(Spot on. I'm really not that lazy, but my mother certainly thinks so.)
18. Strives for the truth: This becomes more prevalent when an Empath discovers his/her gifts and birthright. Anything untruthful feels plain wrong.
(Amen.)
19. Always looking for the answers and knowledge: To have unanswered questions can be frustrating for an Empath and they will endeavour to find an explanation. If they have a knowing about something they will look for confirmation. The downside to this is an information overload.
(It can be an overload but I LOVE it.)
20. Likes adventure, freedom and travel: Empaths are free spirits.
(I'm a true hippy at heart.)
21. Abhors clutter: It makes an Empath feel weighed down and blocks the flow of energy.
(It's true, but at the same time I'm a pack rat. I get to breaking point and de-clutter but it always builds back up.)
22. Loves to daydream: An Empath can stare into space for hours, in a world of their own and blissfully happy.
(Favourite past-time.)
23. Finds routine, rules or control, imprisoning: Anything that takes away their freedom is debilitating to an Empath even poisoning.
(Sometimes, but as I get older I make myself deal with it, structure and order is good when you're taking control.)
24. Prone to carry weight without necessarily overeating: The excess weight is a form of protection to stop the negative incoming energies having as much impact.
(Yep...)
25. Excellent listener: An Empath won’t talk about themselves much unless it’s to someone they really trust. They love to learn and know about others and genuinely care.
(That's why I always deflect questions off of me and get people to talk about themselves. With the people in my heart though, I tell them whatever they want to know.)
26. Intolerance to narcissism: Although kind and often very tolerant of others, Empaths do not like to be around overly egotistical people, who put themselves first and refuse to consider another’s feelings or points of view other than their own.
(Ooooh they shit me!)
27. The ability to feel the days of the week: An Empath will get the ‘Friday Feeling’ if they work Fridays or not. They pick up on how the collective are feeling. The first couple of days of a long, bank holiday weekend (Easter for example) can feel, to them, like the world is smiling, calm and relaxed. Sunday evenings, Mondays and Tuesdays, of a working week, have a very heavy feeling.
(I thought everyone had this?)
28. Will not choose to buy antiques, vintage or second-hand: Anything that’s been pre-owned carries the energy of the previous owner. An Empath will even prefer to have a brand new car or house (if they are in the financial situation to do so) with no residual energy.
(This isn't a problem for me for the most part, if someone has bad jo-jo on it I avoid it but otherwise it's fine.)
29. Sense the energy of food: Many Empaths don’t like to eat meat or poultry because they can feel the vibrations of the animal (especially if the animal suffered), even if they like the taste.
(It doesn't stop me, I LOVE meat.)
30. Can appear moody, shy, aloof, disconnected: Depending on how an Empath is feeling will depend on what face they show to the world. They can be prone to mood swings and if they’ve taken on too much negative will appear quiet and unsociable, even miserable. An empath detests having to pretend to be happy when they’re sad, this only adds to their load (makes working in the service industry, when it’s service with a smile, very challenging) and can make them feel like scuttling under a stone.
(Very much so but again, after years of practice, it's second nature now. It's a big problem sometimes, I am an extremely moody person on occassion, but it's all about the practice.)
If you can say yes to at least 10 of these traits (especially 1 to 10), you could very well be an Empath.
Empaths may carry many of the same traits but they/we are still individuals. We can override or block certain traits and some traits will come and go over the years (strengthen or weaken) as life circumstances change. Once one has become aware of one’s birthright of being an Empath (this will normally happen when any, or all, of the above traits start screaming at you for attention), it is then we can find remedies to ease symptoms and perhaps discover what our true role in life is.
So the reason why I'm discussing this today is because, lately, it's been hard.
I'm so very tired, I'm on a new medication that's fucking with my hormones - which then fucks with your emotions, and my logical side is being worked overtime to try and control the emotions, that aren't my own.
I just want to be left alone, but at the same time I don't want to be. I want to keep the people in my life that give me relief and sactuary from the shit but I get moody and emotional with them and they don't deserve that.
It's all over the place.
It'll re-balance out, I'm very good at controlling this for the most part, but at times, when I struggle, I wish I could explain why. Until *I* can figure it out though, I don't know where to start.
So until then, I keep embracing the logic to control the emotional and keep striving for my balance.
